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Saturday, June 27, 2015

Personal Power (2 Forgiveness)

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
Forgiveness of others comes pretty damn easy for me. It could be as a writer I am truly empathetic to peoples' dilemmas and can usually reason out the mishaps of other folk. Or, it could be that I mess up so much myself I let a lot slide... who knows?
I do know this...
I am the absolute last person to forgive myself for everything.  Everything!
From simple mistakes, to life altering fuckups, I give myself no love!!! I've always been this way. One of my earliest memories is of me ripping up my coloring book because I couldn't stay within the lines. After I made confetti out of five year old art, I pouted in the corner for an hour or two and refused to color for days after. I'm a black belt in kicking my own ass, and all evidence shows that I came out the womb this way. I always believed that I shouldn't screw up. I know I'm not perfect, but I could never shake the feeling that I ought to be. My father used to tell me that there is a line of people outside waiting to hurt me, and that I should get my ass out the line. I get what he was saying, but I never figured out how to do it.
Webster Defines Forgiveness (forgive)
to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong) : to stop blaming (someone)
How do you stop beating yourself up for your mistakes?
The people at WikkiHow has answered this question pretty succinctly and with pictures :-)

Forgiving yourself can be much harder than forgiving someone else. When you're carrying around a sense of blame for something that has happened in the past, this bundle of negativity burrowing deep into yourself can cause a never-ending, pervasive sense of unhappiness. Forgiving yourself is an important act of moving forward and releasing yourself from the past. It's also a way of protecting your health and general well-being. Here are some suggestions on how to forgive yourself.


  1. Forgive Yourself Step 07.jpg
    Practice self-acceptance. You don't need forgiveness for being you. Forgiving yourself is about targeting the specific things that you feel bad about, not about the person you are. As a forgiveness technique, self-acceptance allows you to acknowledge that you're a good person, faults and all. It doesn't mean that you ignore the faults or stop trying to improve yourself but it does mean that you value yourself above those elements and cease to allow your faults to halt your progression in life.[1]  
Click the link in the tittle of the article for the rest of the steps... and then follow the damn steps... I am. Nothing beats a failure but a try, and nothing is worse than constantly kicking your own ass for your bonehead mistakes!!!
And now we turn to Oprah and her friends for simple advice for forgiving others
Check back with me next week for Personal Power (3 Action)

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Personal Power (1 Mistakes)

I want it all
brand new socks and draws...

LOL do you guys remember that song?

Well it's currently playing on repeat in my head as I write this blog. The song just matches my mood, in any given moment, on any given day, I want it all. I've been cursed with my father's ambition and blessed with my mother's strength. No matter how bleak the road less traveled looks, no matter how much the path is filled with dangerous pitfalls, and treacherous inclines, I keep moving forward. I can not help it. I will be on my knees in tears at the end of the day, and bright eyed, bushy-tailed, and ready to start the grind all over again.

I have absolutely no problems with my resilience. My problem was with comprehension. I never learned from any of my mistakes. I would get knocked down in the dirt, get up, dust myself off, and then proceed to do the same shit in a different way. I was hard headed, stubborn, and equipped with an ego bigger than all outside. I really don't know how I came to be this way, but I knew it had to end. I knew I needed to study the patterns, find the lessons, and get the hell off the rollercoaster that was stopping my progress.

Being an ardent student of Google and YouTube university I found an interesting article and video to help me stop the madness.

How to Identify and Learn from Your Mistakes

Scott Berkun

Learning from mistakes requires three things:
  • Putting yourself in situations where you can make interesting mistakes
  • Having the self-confidence to admit to them
  • Being courageous about making changes
This essay will cover all three. First we have to classify the different kinds of mistakes.

The Four Kinds of Mistakes

One way to categorize mistakes is into these categories:
  • Stupid: Absurdly dumb things that just happen. Stubbing your toe, dropping your pizza on your neighbor's fat cat or poking yourself in the eye with a banana.
  • Simple: Mistakes that are avoidable but your sequence of decisions made inevitable. Having the power go out in the middle of your party because you forgot to pay the rent, or running out of beer at said party because you didn't anticipate the number of guests.
  • Involved: Mistakes that are understood but require effort to prevent. Regularly arriving late to work/friends, eating fast food for lunch every day, or going bankrupt at your start-up company because of your complete ignorance of basic accounting.
  • Complex: Mistakes that have complicated causes and no obvious way to avoid next time. Examples include making tough decisions that have bad results, relationships that fail, or other unpleasant or unsatisfying outcomes to important things.

This article really goes into detail about the different types of mistakes and how to overcome them. After you identify what mistake you have made click the link below, and learn how to gain from them.

Check back with me for the second part of Personal Power (2 Forgiveness)

Work From Home They Said with John H. Howard

I am a very stubborn and impulsive person. I always have been, and I probably always will be. And, although these attributes serve me w...