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Sunday, November 20, 2011

The Secret.

I watched it on Oprah and then became obsessed with the principles ... I read the book and bought the DVD, but I never applied it. That is until a really close friend slept with a man I was dating (thought that shit only happened in books) She broke my already bruised heart and I finally lost faith in people and gained faith in God.

In enters the principle of  "The Secret"

I am in a happy place. Books are doing well, moving to a new house, getting a fresh start... no fuggen complaints all because I changed my thinking.

I sat at my desk a year ago in the midst of a pain that I won't revisit on this blog (has a lot to do with the situation above), and I made a vision board. On it I placed a single family home, a new truck, a million dollars, a book store, and a picture of me smiling.  I have received everything accept the million... but I have no reason to believe that it's not coming. Shit everything else happened.

In the midst of working through some things and working towards others, I went through colossal setbacks and heartaches to numerous to list on this blog, but if you scroll through my earlier entries you'll get the highlights. I MUST NOTE THAT I NEVER ADMITTED DEFEAT AND HAD AN UNWAVERING FAITH THAT GOD WAS WORKING AND I'LL HAVE SUCCESS...

but the success was redefined and focused.

I want love... I have love from family and friends...
I want to be read... I have thousands of readers...
I want a purpose driven life... I have an awesome gift...
I want to be happy... I have joy!!!

I'm making a new vision board this evening, because baby it works if you work it... on it I will put a pair of size 10 jeans... a picture of the Queen (I want to go to England).... a sports car... Million dollars... and a picture of me smililng!!!


Until next time

Julia

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Pushing On

I started this blog three times because it sounded so fuggen weak and pathetic. I dislike public complaining because I believe that it gets you nowhere.

but...

I hurt, it hurts... my computer crashed and I was caught with my fuggen pants down. I backed up nothing and as I struggle to recreate it all...

These thoughts and these feelings threaten to derail my efforts...

Everything is gone, Dawn of Destruction... Fire born... Wolf Pack... Fornication Volume One... Fornication Volume Two... Sassy: A Love Story... and many more... Six months of key pounding is gone and I find it hard some times to push on.

I wake up and log on fb and twitter and I don't want to post anything but ... HEY EVERYBODY MY WORK IS GONE... but I don't. I am writing day and night but my heart is so sick and I get weary trying to put on a brave face

So I figured go ahead and cry and don't hold this shit in Jules... It's way too much... Write a blog about it and let your tears hit the keys.

I am writing day and night chasing the magic of the words that were wiped away. I'm not giving up I'm pushing on...

But it's hard, really hard...



Until next time
Julia

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