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Monday, September 26, 2011


egotism; conceit; self-importance: Her ego becomes more unbearable each day.
This is what I'm going through. For the first time in my life I am feeling myself on unprecedented levels...  loving me... basking in my talent and my beauty. A heady mix of conceit and self actualization that I know is frowned upon in polite society.
What if you never had it before? What if you always found yourself wanting? What if you married the first man who said he loved you, notwithstanding the fact that he abused and cheated on you, because you secretly thought you could do no better? You believed him when he said you deserved the worst of everything.
What if you had a father at home who objectified woman, and planted poisonous seeds of degradation in your psyche during your tender development?
I never felt I was worthy. I never was a priority. 
then one day, I grew up. I could no longer deny my talent/compassion/beauty. It was sort of like emerging from a cocoon as a butterfly and flying past a window. You see you wings for the first time in all of their multicolored splendor. And you think...
Holly Shyt... all of this was inside of me.
So I'm flying around and I'm glancing at my wings every chance I get. 
Ego trippin... Not trying to offend anyone... Really don't think I'm better than anyone... but I'm in my bag... For the first time in my life... I'M ON MY TEAM AND i'M SCREAMING GO JULIE GO...
until next time

Saturday, September 24, 2011

I've got sunshine


Let me tell you how I went through some of the most traumatic shizzle this week... withought going through the gory details... it was enough to have me curl up in a ball sucking my thumb until the men in white coats came to drag me away for a 72 hour hold!

And then I prayed...

God showed up... It was a done deal after that. So I now operate on faith, because he has yet to forsake me!

Too blessed to be stressed...
I get that now

Friday, September 23, 2011

Writing life

As soon as I wake up I log onto the computer and check my sales stats. ( I'm going to make thanking God for opening my eye the first thing I do... smh) After I make sure my breath won't kill the daisies I open up all of my works in progress(that's the actual name of the folder)

I read what I have written in my last session and then I put coffee on the boil... ( I may just bite someone without morning coffee so this is a precautionary measure) Coffee in hand Log onto social media and shoot the shit with me cyber fam. A bit of promoting and then I outline... I've been getting into the habit of doing outlines by chapter.

Insert Lunch, Facebook, and Twitter here!

This is around the time I start beating myself up to take a walk...

Then a movie, and then back to writing... I can usually churn out 3000 to 6000 words spread over three different books ;-)

I want to release a lot of books this winter so I've got to tighten up that schedule above!
Until next time

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Todays ajenda...

To change...

I need to finish what I start and making left turns when I normally would turn right. I can't see how going into the last quarter of this year with my old habits and excuses intact are going to get me any new results or a bright new year.

First thing to go...
I set impossible goals for myself and unbelievable heaps of stress. No more deadlines or set release dates. I am the head of my household, everyone lucks to me when things go south, so I have to calculate my responsibilities in all that I do.

Then there is the discipline thing.
I have tried to cure myself of the laziness and disorganized disease that I contracted in the late 90's... It aint workin... I am the most delightfully scatterbrained person you will ever meet. No more lofty goals where this is concerned. I'll take everything one day at a time.

My weight...
Shit, I have never, and I mean never met a cookie I didn't like. Diabetes hurt, I am in constant pain most days and a plenty lethargic other days. Diet and exercise need to be in the forefront of my thoughts/day/life... smh I'll let you know how I'm doing with that as we rush towards 2012...

What will stay the same.

Being self-aware...
I am acutely  conscious of my strengths and weakness, and GI Joe taught me that knowing is half the battle... I just need to beef up on the whole "doing something about it" part and I will be fine as wine!

My work ethic
despite everything listed above... I still work like somebody is behind me with a whip at the ready. This contributes to a lot of the aforementioned STRESS. I am going to try to work smarter, not harder (That's what Dan's father always told him on Rosanne) lol

I woke up with these thoughts... I hope they stick!

Until next time

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


 I decided to expand my blog horizons. I am still going to talk about my personal struggles in life and in the publishing industry, but I need to add a little more life to my blog soooooo... lol

I will be including daily topics that interest me, and nothing interest me more than my peers. I love writers and happen to be friends with some really talented ones... So every Tuesday I'll pick a few of my friends to spotlight on my blog. We are stronger TOGETHER!

Authors of the day is Novelist Junnita Jackson, Mimi Renee, and Adrienne Thompson.

Junnita Jackson is the author ofIf it Don't Hurt ... It Ain't Love which is currently on sale for 99 cents and in her own words that I stole from her website

I have always been a lover of words. I love the idea of getting lost in a world I created with characters that eventually took on a life of their own. What would they do next? How would they react to this or that? Someone once told me that the characters we (as authors) create are an extension of who we really are; that some things that are unacceptable in society could be held as acceptable in the world of fiction.That was a scary thought. My characters in my debut novel, If It Don't hurt It Ain't Love, exhibit a variety of personality traits and emotions. They range from the meek to the insane. Is that really who I am?
     Currently, I am working on my second novel. I live in Central Pennsylvania with my children and loving, supportive husband. I am blessed

Mimi Renee is the author of Pretty Bright which is on sale for $3.99 In her words that I stole from her website

Mimi Renee California native born in Compton and raised in Long Beach California, Mimi Renee recalls that reading and writing has always been her passion from as far back as she could remember. As a young girl she read aloud to herself and others for fun and enjoyed volunteering to stand up to and read out loud in front of class as much as she could. During her sophomore year in high school at David Starr Jordan High in north Long Beach, Mimi learned that she was pregnant and was soon transferred to a continuation school to finish her high school term out at Will Reid continuation, in a special program for pregnant minors.

Adrienne Thompson is the author of  Bluesday which is on sale for $2.99 In her words that I stole from her website

Married at sixteen, a mother twice by seventeen, and thrice a mother and divorced by twenty-four, Adrienne Thompson is no stranger to adversity. Not your typical teenage mother, she went on to complete her college degree and to earn her nursing license. She attributes God’s faithfulness as the catalyst for her success in life. Now, having raised two children as a divorced mother, with a third fast approaching adulthood, she is sharing a long hidden talent and passion with the world. Using the lessons that life has so expertly taught her as a guideline (betrayal, abusive relationships, self-esteem issues, witnessing the deteriorating effects of drug abuse), she has created a novel that will both entertain and inspire the reader. Bluesday is a satisfying mixture of inspiration and drama that will not leave you disappointed.

I hope you give these lovely ladies support in the very near future because we are so much stronger together

Tuesday, September 6, 2011


I skipped a day in my blog... Why oh why is this so hard for me?????
anywho... I had an okay day at work, I guess... didn't curse anyone out... didn't slap anyone either... that's as good as it get's... I guess.

I have to be to work at 3:30 and I have a feeling (a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach) that I may have to go to the gym to get my walk in. This has me rethinking this whole discipline thing!!!!

I am motivated to improve my writing so I just downloaded a slew of books for the cause. I really want to obtain my maximum potential.

I've so much to do. I have to make this blog short.

Until next time

Sunday, September 4, 2011

I spent the day

puttering around the house and working on new projects. Half the day was gone by the time I finished cleaning my room, the bathroom ,and the kitchen. I set an unobtainable deadline of 12am and I am nowhere near reaching it. I took a walk around 7:30 and spent way to much time watching documentaries!

On the upside...

I booked my fabulous writers retreat for the first weekend in November, and some of my favorite authors is  going with me. Room is paid for, bags are packed, and I am so friggen happy about that, I've been cheesing all the day long. Watched "Cowboys and Aliens" and it was ten different kinds of AWESOME!!! but I missed my cousins cookout... ate a bowl of raisin bran for dinner. I'm truly not trying to be that healthy. I prefer meat because I'm a carnivore ... lol

Getting way too personal...

In exactly one month from today I will have made it through an entire year of celibacy. It was/is hard, however it was/is the most healthy decision I've made in a long time. I've learned things about myself, and gained a confidence and level of self respect that is utterly priceless. Happiness, fulfillment, joy, love, and self esteem  have absolutely nothing to do with whats between my legs. I said it before, because I'm smart enough to know that's the socially acceptable stance. I now believe it beyond  a shadow of a doubt, because I'm living it!

Until next time good people!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

16 hours at work

Is way to fuggen long to spend at a job. Feet hurts, back hurts, head hurts, and I'm mad as hell... I walked for the one break I had today, and I cussed and fussed with every friggen step... lol

okay... I'm over it.

I totally forgot about mobile blogging or I would have gotten this installment of my discipline quest in on time... such is life ( I was to busy being way to mad... and playing on fb)  As I sat in purgatory I got to thinking on how much I needed a vacation. I fantasized about having a beach all to myself in the fall. Just the waves, the moscato, and my laptop. ... ahhhhh

Sooooo I posted the idea on facebook and other writers became interested. AWESOME!!! Even if it's just a precious few of us... wouldn't it be grand to spend the weekend in the company of writers without all the other pressures of life? Intense writing sessions in the mornings followed by robust critiques in the evening over way too much wine and good food...


well I have to scam... I've deadlines ya know!
Until next time

Friday, September 2, 2011


I walked early in the morning and then went out to breakfast with my mother. Early in the wee morning hours I had to make a business decision that was very hard for me. It put a damper on my day but I smiled in spite of the pain of my choice. Things are hard for my family right now... hell the entire planet is hurting, but through it all I can still see my blessings.


In my son's smiles, and my mother's hugs. In the full refrigerator, and half full gas tank. In my Amazon and Pubit sales and in my nursing job. In my circle of friends and in my business ventures... I am surrounded by God's sweet grace and I am not ashamed to say it.

I am tired and learning to take it easy... budget better, make smarter choices... there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I am starting to see it.

The Earth will still spin weather you are happy or sad so I choose to be happy... come what may!

Until next time

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Starting over

Well, let's recap... 

The Earth Moved... I was in the break room at my job when the ground started shaking. I really could live without ever going through that again... EVER! Hurricane... Irene ran her crazy ass through the east coast blazing a path a destruction. i was at work when she reached our area. When I got off, I just stared out the window and waited (all teary eyed) for my mother to get home. I am facing a crossroad with my book stand... if I don't find a store front that fit's into my budget, the stand will shut down for good. I took a beating in sales over the summer and am still over stocked!

In other news...

Lifer's hard. I wake up and try to make myself a priority. I try to eat right and exercise. I know I need to change my ways. However something happens, and as usual, the promises that I make to myself are the first to be sacrificed. I recognize this and am stopping it now.

Facebook has this thing where when you go to your profile they show your post from that day on a different year... it's a little tab on the upper right hand corner of your screen that says... On this day in 2009 and then it shows your post. Well, guys, I love this tab, and I usually repost the good ones... Until I saw one about my struggle with my weight... It was from 2009.... I have made very little progress from that date on because.... My well being is not a priority for me...

I'm going to make it through a month of blogging and walking... one straight month!

until next time

Work From Home They Said with John H. Howard

I am a very stubborn and impulsive person. I always have been, and I probably always will be. And, although these attributes serve me w...