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Monday, August 22, 2011

Day 1 ... 8/22

A few months ago I challenged myself to complete 30 blogs in 30 days to build disciplin...
um, well, I didn't make it...

I didn't beat myself up about it. I've learned to stop hurting myself, but I was disappointed. Flexing my will in that small way triggered a change in me that can't be denied. I started to finish things, almost everything! I was so proud. Then, like my mother says, "life happens when you make plans."

So with no further ado...

Today is the first day of my blog/will/life building exercise.

I ate cake yesterday, and I'm not talking a slice, I'm talking chunks... smh! I've never mastered the art of refusing cake's sweet song. That's why they are rarely in my house. Now I'm about to go to the gym to right my cake-eating wrongs.

everyday is a gift a chance to do better...
30 blogs+30 walks+30days=disciplin


Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Behind Violet...

I started working on Violet right after Begonia Brown was released. I think I started in the middle of the book, and worked back to the beginning. I was in a lot of  emotional pain and very scatterbrained.

This book being more complexed then the other two required a lot of research.

And the good Lord knew I needed something to do. My heart was broken and they had just repossessed  my minivan

I remember walking into the police department and asking to speak with someone about cocaine charges. The detective, who asked to remain nameless, came out from the back and talked with me for two hours. We went over different scenarios and penalties and what happens when the feds step in. I heart him, and remain forever in his debt because I don't think I could have finished the book without his input.

I interviewed former convicts about the lock-down process, I interviewed tricks walking the strip.
(a lot of good material never made it inside the book)

Although my health was getting better, I was in a real dark place. I took a break from nursing and opened up my book stand. I couldn't take care of myself at that time... I knew i shouldn't be taking care of anybody else. My father was diagnosed with cancer, him and my mother was getting a divorce also and there was no firm ground for me to stand on. Hell I was still driving around with my divorce papers unsigned!

That's when God stepped in. Every single person who came by my book stand brought me encouragement and strength. They offered advice on life and Violet. They loved my other work and reinforced my love of it.

Everyday I wrote a little, prayed a little, and became a little stronger.

I sent my editor the first half of the book (it was a mess, I was a mess)... She took it edited and sent it back to me with in weeks. she held my hand as I trickled that book to her in pieces. She said nothing when the payments came in as sporadic as the content. She recently told me that she was being credited as the Author of Violet on different websites and she couldn't take credit like that. I told her I would fix it but just can't bring myself too... The book would have never happened without her. Point Blank Period!!!!

meanwhile back at the ranch...

My exhusband had moved on with his life as evident in his profile pics of him and his new boo. He wanted the divorce papers signed in the worst way, and rightfully so. We were not together in any shape form or fashion so why was I acting like a total nutjob and not signing those papers...

beats the fuck out of me.

In steps Rachelle Howard! She called me... made me get the papers and sign them while she was on the phone. I think I throw up afterwards. I gave them to my mom who put them in the mail. FOREVER GRATEFUL!

Junnita Jackson did the cover and acted as my on call therapist. I love her more than words...

My producer and his wife Raheem and Dona Foster saw me through to the end. They called me daily wanting updates on my progress.

Long Story Short
I was forged in the fire while writing this book. When you read it, you'll feel my pain, witness my struggle, and see my growth. By the time Violet went through it's second printing, I was completely healed and released from all of that pain.

 Covered by grace

Monday, August 1, 2011

Book Reviewers

I needed to write this in response to some of the attacks on reviewers I see happening now days. I wanted to put my two cents in the pile. I wanted the men and women who review my work to know how I feel.

So here's a little history...

I remember the feeling I had when I completed my first short story. I was 13 years old and writing the end on the last sheet of loose leaf paper brought on a huge serge of I'm-the-shit. I sat in the corner of my bedroom and read the damn thing over and over and over again.

I was so super proud of myself...

Then I wanted others to read it (we begin to approach a problem) not an easy task. My mother read it and hugged me. She corrected the spelling and frowned at the penmanship, but she thought it was good. Real good! (She's always been biased.)

After my first critical review...(lol) I could not find another soul to read it or at least listen to me read it.In the summer of 1990 people had other ish to do. I was sad but did my best not to let it show. I recieved so much rejection in those first two weeks of summer that I tucked the little story away and never pulled it out again.

I didn't stop writing, I just stopped showing.

fast forward to1994. I wrote a poem called suicide and showed it to my English teacher. She loved it so much she entered me into a writing competition, and I won the whole damn thing. I could give a flying fck about the certificate and ribbon... people read my work, and they liked it.

Cloud Nine!!!!

I soon found that it was a rare occurrence. People in my circle didn't have a lot of time to read the scribblings of a tortured teen, so I learned to stop asking. However, being read has always been my deepest desire.

which brings me to my point.

To all the reviewers in all the lands I thank you! I pour my heart into my writing--my naked soul can be found in my words. I am overjoyed with your reviews... good, bad, or indifferent.


until next time

Work From Home They Said with John H. Howard

I am a very stubborn and impulsive person. I always have been, and I probably always will be. And, although these attributes serve me w...